I Fondle Signs, Thanks to my Job

Hi! So, I’d like to let you know that thanks to my job, I fondle signs. You got a sign with Braille on it? Yeah, I’m gonna have to touch that. I need to know how it’s made, and you can count on the fact that I’m looking to see if it’s ADA compliant.

I’m sure every single one of us takes away things from our jobs that ends up affecting our lives. When I worked in bill collections, I learned just how much debt is ridiculous, and it changed my views on certain things (when you see someone in debt over $1,000 because they never paid any $10 co-pays and they refuse to work with you to set up a payment plan, it’s hard not to have an opinion-shift). My father worked in machining for a while, and so he’s a bit pickier about what tools he buys. Jobs really do change who we are, whether we want them to or not.

In my case, having worked at my present job for over five years total (at the time of writing this, anyways), it’s hard for me not to notice the signs anywhere I go. It’s so bad that I notice them in shows, and I try to identify them off my TV or computer screen.

Thankfully for me, friends and family seem to tolerate it pretty well, and most of them find me funny. They know by now that they can’t take me anywhere without me finding a sign to be opinionated about, and to fondle if possible. It’s a compulsion at this point. I’m sure if they could label it as a problem or some sort, society would. As far as I’m concerned though, it’s harmless and I’m having fun.

I mean, I really love signs. I love what I do, and I get really into talking about my job. Anyone who knows me well knows that I can have an hours long conversation about the ins-and-outs of ADA Interior Signage (Division 10 for you construction specs people out there). And my coworkers and bosses know me to be the biggest ADA Compliance nazi to enter the signage business. I’ve kind of made it my personal mission to make all signs compliant, because I feel we owe it to those with vision impairments or blindness to give them a sign that’s helpful in the ways that are easy for them to do so.

This does get pretty dangerous though if I go somewhere where I know my company made the signs. Watch out if I was also the artist on them! Those signs hold a special place in my heart, and you’ll totally find me gloating about them. Seriously, I’m a little bit obnoxious and I don’t even care. It’s a really good thing my friends think I’m funny, because otherwise I think I’d embarrass them wherever we went. Hahahaha

But wait! It gets worse! I have a friend, Gwen, who used to work in this industry (she’s how I found my job in the first place, bless her) before she moved to pre-press in another company that works with graphic art. She and I are terrible when we’re out together. The sign industry never left her, and so we fondle signs together. On top of that, if we’re bored (or just because we can), we play a game we made ourselves called “Guess the Font!”

Yes, that’s right. We will stare at signage, menus, flyers, ect and try to guess the font(s) used. Not only will we try to guess, we’ll debate each other over why it might be which font. We can go on about this for a good long time, and once our significant others at the time walked away from us…

No one can tell me it doesn’t keep life interesting! And hey, it makes me a more amusing person to be around as far as I’m concerned. Laughter is good for the soul, and I’m providing plenty of it.

Seriously though… I want to fondle your signs. Or, design them. And then come over and fondle them. Haha. It’s an occupational hazard, and one I’m happy to have taken on. And now that I’ve put this out there, I guarantee that when you go someplace next, if there’s a sign with Braille on it, you’re going to be more aware of it. You may not be able to identify how it was made, if it’s ADA compliant, or if it’s of outstanding quality; but you will notice it and you will probably chuckle.

And if you go to a building that doesn’t have directional signs, share in my anguish that they don’t want you to know where you’re going. It’s a personal pet peeve.